Looking For Trouble Spots In Stories
By Don Gibb
Coaches help writers when they talk specifics. Saying "the lead doesn't work" just doesn't work. Here are some specific areas to discuss with writers and to help editors get into a coaching role:
- LEADS: Does the lead contain too much secondary detail, too many figures? Is it too complex, too vague, too routine? Can attribution wait until the second or third paragraph? Does it tell readers what the story is about and what impact it has on them? Is the lead buried? Is the lead backed up in the story?
- USE OF QUOTATIONS: They can make or break a story. Often, long-winded quotes are cumbersome and simply relate routine or factual detail which is more easily digested by paraphrasing. Quotes should be effective by adding a voice to the story, by making it more personal. Cumbersome quotes bog down a story. No quotes produce a passive piece of writing. Reporters who rely on tape recorders often use lengthy, dull quotes.
- TRANSITIONS: Does the reporter use a key word or phrase to join different elements of the story and keep it flowing smoothly or is the story little more than a string of unconnected interviews? Discuss words that act as transitions -- words which help the reporter tell a story in a smooth, orderly fashion.
- ORGANIZATION: Has the reporter developed the story in a way that makes it easy for readers to follow? Example: The use of bullets allow reporters to briefly detail the key elements of their stories early before moving on to develop and expand upon each one in detail. Generally speaking, reporters should contain their interviews; that is, give readers all of the comments of one person before moving on to the next. Jumping back and forth between subjects encourages confusion and loss of interest in readers.
- DETAIL: Most reporters need to get more detail into their stories. Look for too many generalizations or overuse of fuzzy words such as "most" and "many". Encourage reporters to pursue little details that add real color and human interest to their stories.
- OBSERVATION: Like detail, reporters need to trust their observations more, to learn how to record them as part of their stories. We have been trained to talk to experts, to quote those supposedly in the know. Reporters' observations can add feeling and perspective to a story.
- EXPLAINING THE COMPLEX: This one is a never-ending battle. Reporters have to discipline themselves to constantly find ways of explaining complex issues through the use of analogy, through getting the experts to explain things in simpler terms so that ordinary readers will understand -- and be interested. Explaining the complex means slowing down the writing and omitting material which will only confuse readers. Only tell readers what they need to know to understand the story.
- SHOWING RATHER THAN TELLING READERS: Much of this falls under detail and observation: What reporters see and hear as opposed to what someone tells them. Taking readers right to the scene is much better than telling them about it.
- GOOD ENDINGS: They're as important as good beginnings. Good writers know where their stories are going. They often have the ending in mind before they get there. Encourage reporters to think about where they want the story to end when they're thinking about the opening. It forces the reporter to have a sharper focus.
Note: Don Gibb teaches journalism at Ryerson Polytechnic University and has led numerous workshops on writing and reporting for the CNA, CANE, and individual daily newspapers. He is author of a booklet, How to Write the Perfect Lead.